TRAVELLERS' TALES from Far Eastern Economic Review http://www.feer.com/articles/2003/0305_15/p052tales.html
Business English, Asian style
The new pidgin used for street-level business in Asia is quicker, easier and snappier than boring old textbook English, readers report
By Nury Vittachi
Issue cover-dated May 15, 2003
THROW AWAY your dictionaries. The unwritten language, Englasian [Travellers' Tales, April 24], really is threatening to supplant English as the business language of Asia, I hear from readers.
"It's cheaper, shorter and faster," said reader Chin-Huai Keong, writing from Tokyo. He pointed out that the popular English phrase: "Are you looking at me?" becomes the snappy "See what see?"
It's more fun too, since it can be highly cryptic. Reader Sunny Tan of Singapore said his favourite Englasian phrase was "You see me no up-ah," which means: "Don't be so condescending."
Other readers pointed out that there was a range of styles, from the flowery speech of speakers of Indian English, to the stripped-down, no-frills dialect of the Malaysian-Chinese community.
Analysis of phrases sent in suggest that Asia's new lingua franca consists largely of vocabulary from English set into syntax from Chinese, Hindi, Tamil and other languages. The quickest way to learn a language is to use it. So we present below a play made up entirely of samples of different strands of Asian English.
Don't Stupid-Lah, Brudder: A One-Act Play In Englasian
Plot: Mal, a Malaysian investor, is having kopi (coffee) with an Indian accountant named Indra. They are in a hotel in Jakarta waiting for Oz, an Australian entrepreneur, with whom they are setting up a business.
Mal: Plan latest where got?
Indra: Not having. Maybe Oz has?
Mal: He here already, is it?
Indra: Yesterday already esteemed Australian partner checked in.
Mal: [Pointing to Indra's designer bag] Inside is what?
Indra: Contact list, product specs and other sundry items.
Mal: Good. Contack how many? Hundred-over?
Indra: Two hundred-over.
Mal: Waah. Damn good. Oz is where? Mat salleh sleep too much always. Make me frus only.
[Enter Oz.] Oz: Greetings! Hi, chooks. Bit late--apologies.
Mal: No nid-lah. Sit-sit, don't shy.
Oz: You Indra? Please-ta meetcha.
Indra: We met before one time, no? At the party to felicitate my cousin-brother, a revered Sydneysider?
Oz: Yeah, right.
Mal: Stylo-milo only-lah today you.
Oz: Huh? Oh. My clothes were a bit daggy after the flight so I got a new shirt and some daks.
Mal: Nice, man. Now start already.
Indra: You are bringing state-of-the-art business plan today, is it?
Oz: Godit right here in me bag.
Indra: Put the papers. Projections, case studies, like that, also need.
Mal: Bank account have?
Indra: Have.
Mal: Cover letters ready, is it?
Oz: No worries. Needs number crunching but.
Mal: Total down is what?
Indra: About eight crore-over.
Mal: Talk cock-lah you!
Indra: For one lakh output.
Mal: How can? No need so much.
Indra: Ya, nine crore-over maybe. You don't know, goondu.
Mal: Why you say me like that?
Oz: Hey. Don't do yer lolly, mate. Let's have a squiz.
Mal: Aiyeeah!
Oz: What does aiyeeah mean, anyway?
Mal: No word in English. Only Indian.
Oz: What is 'Aiyeeah' in Indian?
Indra: Aiyo.
Oz: Thanks.
Mal: Let's go to my room, can crunch numbers on my laptop.
Indra: First must do the needful.
[All three speak together to the waiter.]
Oz: Bill please.
Mal: My dan.
Indra: Chitty!
[The waiter, being fluent in Englasian, understands all three speakers--but being a loyal speaker of Bahasa Indonesia, ignores them all.]